Les Deux Salons

Lamb’s testicles! Delicious! And that’s one thing I’ll remember Anthony Demetre for – seeing him cook lamb’s testicles on Great British Menu and then going straight to my suppliers the next day, ordering some and being all excited when they arrived in all their anatomical glory, braising the little sacs, waiting for them to cool down, sauteeing them, deep frying them and generally feeling very content!

Les Deux Salons first came to my attention when my cheffie friend A.K suggested we go there for dinner and then later found out that it was by the same guys who run Arbutus and Wild Honey – two exceedingly good restaurants in London. So, off to Deux Salons it was, smack bang in the middle of Trafalgar Square and decorated in a very french bistrot/brasserie style – reminded me quite a lot about Galvin Bistrot de Luxe. The first time round we’d felt a bit disappointed with the portion sizes compared to the prices – expensive dishes, but not a lot of food on the plate. The fact that they tasted great redeemed it.

Anyway, on this occasion we were off to see the master of the occcult, the very strange and very cool Derren Brown, performing his latest show, Svengali at the Shaftesbury Theatre. The good thing about the restaurant is that it opens at 5 for pre-theatre dinner.

Being both in the mood for a bit of steak, the Grilled ribeye to share seemed ideal, so we asked our waitress what it came with and she started explaining that it was a steak with a bit of fat on it …. whereby I promptly stopped her and said I knew what ribeye was but what did it come with? ‘It comes with confit carrots and jus’. A bit surprised as we were paying each £23.00 for the beef and a bit of carrot? Must be sensational! So we also ordered some sides of Gratin dauphinois and mixed greens

Half an hour later, our food arrives. Miniscule little pot of dauphinois (I thought we were getting one each after seeing the size of it, then realised it was just that one!) and some cabbabe (mixed greens? the veg chef must have veg-blindness if he thought that a dish of cabbage would suffice as ‘mixed greens’).

But! there were no carrots in sight! So we called our waitress and asked her where the carrots were to which she replies ‘No. The carrot only come with the grilled bavette’ At this point M and I just burst into hysterics. We asked her what the ribeye came with, she said carrots and then tells us that she was explaining another dish! WHO DOES THE STAFF TRAINING AROUND HERE?

So onto the beef. Delicious. Absolutely delicious – 28 day old USDA beef. However – we ended up having to chew and chew, and chew, and chew and chew and chew, and chew, and then chew some more before we could swallow the thing. Even the steak knife had a bit of difficulty asserting its authority over the beef. So what if the beef tastes good? If my jaws hurt after eating a few mouthfuls, what’s the point? Your local kebab house does more succulent beef at a fraction of the price.

Oh, and lest we forget the mixed greens! Boiled to death cabbage! Annihilated vegetable. Baby food, or as M said, it reminded her of school dinners! So…chewy beef, not enough potato to share, overcooked cabbage (not mixed greens as it should have been), misinformation by the waitress all for £30 a person.

We did decide to give desserts a go. The – Raspberry and rosewater macaroon Came in a shocking pink with delicious juicy raspberries (definitely native), but lacked an ice cream to really make the dish a beauty.

Luckily, Derren Brown took over soon after and we were transported into a truly magical and surreal world.

Overall Experience: 5
Recommend you to go? 4
Food: 5
Wine: 8
Website: http://www.lesdeuxsalons.co.uk/

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